Not Like Last Time
by The Enigmatic Crow
Summary: Remus is worried that the war will turn out like last time; full of casualties and tragedy. Tonks assures him otherwise. Oneshot set in the events of DH.


"Another two muggle families were murdered in their homes." Remus Lupin says grimly, turning off the radio.

He sighs. "The war- it feels so pointless. Everyday you hear about people dying; a fallen order member here, a slain muggle born there. And what for? The last time it lasted for eleven years- it took more than a decade before Vol- _you-know-who_ was defeated. And even then, the blood prejudices still existed. Nothing was different. Sometimes I feel like packing up; severing all ties from the order and leaving. Going somewhere far away where they can no longer hurt us; far away from the war and away from danger. Sometimes- I just want to give up."

Tonks smiles ruefully. "Well it's too late now isn't it?" She gives a bitter little chuckle

"We're already known order members. Besides, Harry's on that special quest for Dumbledore, isn't he? As soon as they've done whatever it is, you-know-who will be destroyed and we can live happily ever after."

"You don't get it, do you?" He says glumly, resting himself onto the soft, frayed couch that occupied the living room.

"You think I don't understand what's going on? In case you haven't _noticed_, I'm involved in this war too. What do you think I've been doing for this entire time?" She retorts, grinning.

"This isn't a game." There is a slight hint of irritation in Remus's voice.

She sits down beside him and puts her head on his shoulder; feeling his warm flesh and the steady beating of his heart. She smiles. Brushing his messy hair out of his face, she leans and plants a chaste little kiss on his forehead; almost maternally. "Dora, stop."

"Calm down, everything's going to be alright. The war is going to end. Then, we're going to buy a nice little cottage in the farmlands, settle down there with our statistically average 1.9 children. We'll send them to Hogwarts and spend the rest of our lives loving each other. And perhaps..." Her hands move suggestively to his thighs.

He nudges her away, looking back down to the tearing seams of the couch cushion. "You know we can't have children," He mumbles bitterly, "I wouldn't- I can't- I won't be able to live with myself if I made our children what I am. A _freak._"

There's a flash of uneasiness, almost apprehension, etched upon Tonks's face. "There's nothing to be worried about." She reassures again, changing the topic hastily.

"You-you were too young to remember what the first war was like. Only, we were the naive ones back then- not saying that _you _are. We- James, Sirius and I- were young... Reckless. We joined the order straight out of Hogwarts. We thought the war was going to end soon too; that when it did, we were going to be treated like war heroes. We were going to be sitting together in front of a fireplace in our old age; sharing stories of our glory days to our grandchildren. Only... Only that never happened." His voice is choked with emotion and Tonks can see his glistening wet eyes.

"I'm so sorry." She says quietly, embracing him, " But we can't give up. If we do, those countless matyrs would have died for nothing- Dumbledore's sacrifice would be a waste. Sirius and James would have died in vain. We can't let _him_ win."

He's sobbing in her arms now, clinging on to her like a lost child; helpless and feeble. It shocks Tonks to see Remus- her husband- like this. He was the strong one; the one that remained calm no matter what. He was the mature one in their relationship. To see him so pitiful-

It absolutely horrified Tonks.

"And you know what else?"

"What?" He asks, sniffling.

"Do you know why we can't give up? Why we have to keep on fighting? Why we must never lose hope?"

"Why?"

"Because we can't have our child living in _this _world- not the way it is anyway."

"You're..?"

"I'm pregnant." She smiles uneasily, staring at his shocked, teary face.

...

Tonks cradles the baby; _their _son.

He's perfect.

Remus is flushed, a foolishly joyful grin plastered on his face. He's the happiest he's been in a long time; watching as Teddy, his flawless little boy, grabs onto his mother's bubblegum hair, giggling happily.

" You know why else I didn't want children, Dora?"

"Why?"

"Because I didn't want him to grow up in a world where his parents weren't around. I want him to have a family. Seeing Harry- thinking about him, made me realize that it _could happen. James and Lily-" _

_"It won't be like last time." She promises._

* * *

_A/N: I apologize if any reader found that OOC/choppy. But please do tell me what you think. Reviews are much appreciated._


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